_Wednesday, October 5, 2011
"I Am Domestic Violence"
(US Army Family Advocacy Program)
Walter Reed Army Institute of Research (WRAIR)
0900
Forest Glen Annex
Silver Spring, Maryland
Wednesday, October 6, 2011
"I Am Domestic Violence"
(US Army Family Advocacy Program)
0830 and 1330
Fort Detrick
Frederick, Maryland

_
The Plaque Reads:
"In grateful appreciation for your outstanding "I Am Domestic Abuse" presentation. Your play was captivating and your openness in sharing your personal experiences made a deep impression on all of us. Thanks to you I am sure that everyone left with a greater understanding of the seriousness of domestic abuse and more equipped to recognize and prevent emotional and physical abuse. Thank you for being a part of our Domestic Abuse Prevention Month. The Soldiers and civilians of Fort Detrick are in your debt."
- Colonel Allan J. Darden, Sr.

Wambui's keynote address highlighted Prince Edward Collegiate Institute’s first domestic violence symposium. entitled, ‘WAIT – What Am I Thinking?’ the full day event involved the whole PECI community, both staff and students. (On May 12th 2011) Read more here.

I believe the remedy for domestic violence lies in building a society in which we honor ourselves. When we honor ourselves, it is difficult to dishonor someone else or to be dishonored. Yeah, easier said than done.

We can start with our children and try to stop domestic violence by educating the new generations.

Teach Our Children Tell our children how wonderful they are. Tell our girls and our boys from the time they are born that they are glorious miracles. Teach them to love, respect, and celebrate who they are -- just because. Teach them that we all come from one wonderful source. Teach them that each of us can only be as strong as the weakest among us.

Teach our children how to honor by honoring them. Teach our children how to respect themselves by respecting them and respecting ourselves. Teach our children that to love someone -- being in love -- is to encourage each other to be free and to support each other in expressing and exploring all of the wonderful possibilities in life.

Teach them that love is not about control. Love is about wanting the very best for all concerned.

I arrived back in New York from Denmark, South Carolina late last evening.  What a great trip it was!  Getting through the airport and the flights—both ways—were on time and smooth.
        However, the thrill was arriving in Denmark and  meeting Ms. Coretta Jamison (Project Director/Women's Advocate, Division of Student Affairs) and the  warm, friendly, beautiful and intelligent students at Voorhees College.
    They could not hide their southern hospitality so I just basked in it.
      Yesterday, at the college, I presented my one-woman show I Am Domestic Violence and followed up with part two which consisted of discussing the stories of the characters in the show and how they related to me in real life and questions and comments from the audience. The most discussed question was, "What do you do if you have a friend who's in an abusive relationship—how do you help them?"
        And of course, I could not leave without sharing a few inspirational and motivational messages  about self-esteem, self-love and general empowerment in all areas of our lives. The feedback from the students and staff was extremely positive.
        All of the students that I met were warm, friendly, helpful and positive about creating wonderful futures for themselves and others. Meeting Ms. Jamison was like meeting an old friend. You would have thought we'd known each other for ages.

There is life after an abusive relationship. It is possible to regain your self-esteem and dignity and move on to a better life -- there is always a way. First, XXXX, you have to really really want to change and end your abusive relationship with your husband. Statistics show that it usually takes a woman at least four times of leaving her abusive partner before she is able to stay gone. Every day women who are in worse situations than yours are leaving their abusers and starting new lives. No is not always easy. But it is always possible.

One of the things that an abuser does is isolate the victim so that she has no friends or family that she can reach out to in a time of need. It sounds like your husband has been successful at this. Please think really really really really hard of a friend or relative who might open their doors to you. Don't worry about being in their way. Better to be in their way and let them talk about you than stay in a relationship where the life is being sucked out of you.

Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline and find out what services are available in your local area. Shelters and domestic violence awareness programs have lost a lot of funding over the last few years. So a bit of patience and persistence might go a long way?

I don't know where you live. However, I do know there are a lot of adults --working people -- who are trying to take care of an elderly parent at home. Perhaps you can exchange a room in their home and offer to take care of or sit with their elderly or disabled parent when they are away from home. Many people have fallen on hard times. Depending on the area you live in, paying someone $200 - $300 a month for a spare room that they never used is not unheard of.

Let's get creative XXXX! You can do this. Start by listening to all the free audios and videos on the site that will tell you how wonderful and powerful you are. Change the self talk tape in your head from “stuck” to "I'm going to be free". XXXX, you have forgotten that you are a manifestation of God. Isn't it written somewhere, “The works that I do, ye also shall do--even greater”. You have forgotten about your innate wisdom and the power of the mind. In your post, you stated many reasons why you are "stuck". On a sheet of paper write this:  act as if you're writing a movie script or a new novel and you've come to the part where you have to describe how the heroine, XXXX XXXX, leaves her abuser and an unhappy life and re-creates herself looking good and feeling joyful.

Domestic Abuse - It's Not Your Fault
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Christine_Crotts]Christine Crotts

Domestic abuse is more widespread than many people would like to admit. Have you noticed how your neighbor had her face covered after last night's row? But, before going further I would like to correct a popular misconception. Men are also victims of the violence. Sadly men inflict more physical injuries on their partners than there women but a majority of the violence is give-and-take. Intimate partner violence and spousal abuse are commonly used to describe situations involving domestic abuse. Also the abuse can be non-physical through acts of mental and emotional torture, intimidation and control.

Domestic abuse is a serious issue that there are government-funded programs that aim, to assist the victims and the perpetrators. There are support groups, call lines, social programs that are there to help. These allow both parties to come to terms with what has happened and give them the support as they embark on rebuilding their lives. So recognize that you need help and contact someone. These people are professional and will always maintain the details you supplied with confidentiality.

Domestic abuse also has a history of being cyclic. The couple will reconcile, and then over a period the tension will build before it is allowed out in an act of abuse. Also there are many explanations as to why people are driven to abuse their partner. Stress, childhood experience, the need to be in control and mental illness have been attributed among the reasons for the abuse.

People need to first come to terms with the fact that abuse is occurring. Many times the victim is in denial and try to explain away the physical signs - "I fell and hit my hand".
Many signs exist that can point to an abusive relationship. A fear of the partner is the most obvious one. If you are inclined to tread very carefully around him/her and you are constantly careful about what you say and do to prevent an explosion you should admit that you are in a relationship that is unhealthy and abusive. A partner that belittles you and tries to organize every aspect of your life also point to signs of danger. Some of these things may seem harmless but domestic abuse is known to spiral up from simple verbal intimidation and yelling to physical assault.

Also one of the most common and misguided conceptions among the victims is that "I am at fault. He\she was only trying to show me my mistake". No. No action on your part justifies the abuse. It may true as told about the violence being reciprocal, but refrain from accepting you are to blame. It is the other party that is doing the abusing, so it is clearly their fault.

Once you recognize you need help - please contact the above organizations. On rare occasions both partners are known to visit such a program for help together, though sadly it was precipitated by a serious event, causing both parties to recognize that they need help to keep the good things going.

Remember domestic abuse is something that can and should be overcome.

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Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Domestic-Abuse---Its-Not-Your-Fault&id=4092898] Domestic Abuse - It's Not Your Fault